Dear DTW

So, let me get this straight. You want to fulfill your partner's fantasies by talking dirty to him, but you don't want to get sleazy or use any profanity... Sorry to break this to you, DTW, but talking dirty is about getting sleazy and using profanity.  But then, it also depends on your notion of sleazy. There are also varying degrees of sleaze and profanity that you can use when talking dirty. For example, you could say to your partner, “Your cock is so hard. Fuck my pussy faster!” Or, if that falls under your notions of too sleazy and profane, then you can always say, “God, I love your body! Give it to me faster!”  Doesn't exactly mean the same thing, but fuck it, it’s close enough.  Got it?  You decide what you are comfortable with.

One good way to get an idea of things to say is by reading erotica.  There are tons of free erotica sites on the web.  Just try typing “erotica” or “sex stories” into a search engine.  Again, just pick out the parts that you are comfortable with saying, tweak them to your situation, and Presto!  You have some starter dirty talk to play with.

As you get more used to talking dirty, you'll find it gets easier and easier, and you won't be so reliant on getting help from erotica.  Of course, by then you may have already gotten a taste of just how sexy erotica can be, and won't want to give it up.  But hey, there are certainly worse risks in the world.

Dear FTTF,

Well, Too Fast, if this doesn't happen when you have oral sex, and you can “go” several times a session, why not simply put off having sex until after you have had an orgasm from oral sex? Or from some other method for that matter. Then just wait until you “recharge,” and have intercourse. Most men tend to be able to last longer the second time around, so you aren’t alone on that one. Personally, I think the best thing to do would be to simply tell your partner what you are up to. If this is a partner you currently have, well, s/he most likely has already noticed what you just described to me, and would most likely be thrilled to “help” you out with this, particularly if it will make you last longer. However, if you are really that concerned about her/him knowing that this is why you want your orgasm from some other way first, then simply tell him/her that you prefer it this way.

Dear SSB,

Your lucky girlfriend is ejaculating. That’s right, I said ejaculating. Doctors have been convincing women for years that it’s simply piss and that they can’t control their urine. Finally, they’ve wised up, and in recent years actually run various tests and studies on the ejaculate and the women who produce it. They found that, what do you know, it’s not pee after all. (However, a small number of women do have incontinence problems and actually do pee during orgasm, but that is distinct from ejaculation).

Sorry to break it to you SSB, but it ain’t coming out of your girlfriend’s vagina. That’s her urethral opening (pee-hole). Maybe you should get down there a little more often and take a good look around. So, while it is coming out of her pee-hole, it isn’t pee. It has a different chemical composition than urine, smells different, tastes different, and doesn’t tend to leave a yellow stain (though some women’s ejaculate resembles urine more than others do).

So SSB, enjoy your girlfriend’s wonderful talent and remember: ejaculating, it’s not just for boys anymore.